Failing at 26.2

 I have had many successes as a runner, including my cutting down a store employee recently for his assumption about how I identify myself. That's another post though. This is the story of my first failure.

I decided that it was time to try and run a marathon. The idea was daunting to me but who isn't a little taken back by the idea of running that far? In order to dangle a carrot, I picked Disney World as the venue. In hindsight, this may have played into the issue.

I began training and almost immediately started running into problems. The marathon was scheduled for January of 2022 so I started training in February of 2021. As a nurse, working in the midst of COVID, I took all the precautions that I needed to. As a runner with asthma, it had consistently been in the back of my mind that I didn't know how COVID might impact me.

In March, I came down with the dreaded virus. I felt lucky that my symptoms were mild. Mostly, I was tired. It was impossible to run. It was April before I began running again. 

In looking at the calendar, I decided that it would be fine. I still had plenty of time to build up my mileage. I started up my training again. By May, I was aware that there was a problem with my shoes or my feet because I was unable to run for more than a couple of miles before I started getting pain in my feet. I took a couple of weeks off, assuming that I had strained something or maybe overworked the muscles. 

As soon as I started running again, the pain came back. Concerned that I had developed a stress fracture, I went to a podiatrist. Some x-rays later and I was diagnosed with overuse and instructions to rest for a month. I spent the next month stressing over the calendar. Could I still do this? I hadn't managed a good run over 8 miles. 

Every February I run the Hot Chocolate 15K, so I had a good base. It would be fine, I decided. I would just slow my pace down. I pulled up a run/walk training program and found a good starting point. I could still be ready by January.

It was now July and I hadn't really run consistently since February. I started to become worried. Would I really be able to do this without running the full distance before the race? Normally, when I train I do at least one run at race distance. Now after running multiple 5 and 10Ks, having run 15Ks and 8Ks and plenty of half marathons, I knew I could complete those distances.

I kept going. Issue after issue plagued me. By the time it was December, I was hardly surprised to end up with COVID again. This time I had no symptoms at all but every time I tried to run, I ended up in a coughing fit. I decided that rest was in order.

I made a decision that either way I was going to go to Disney. It was worth it to try the distance, right? Disney races are nonrefundable and nontransferable so it wasn't like I could get my money back or give the race to someone else. I might as well give it my best shot.

Living in North Carolina, I know about heat. Starting the race as early as Disney does and it being January, I figured the temperatures would be in my favor. Florida decided to show just how hot it could get in January.

I started out doing well and feeling good. When I hit the half mark, I was excited. I could finish this. I still felt like it was going well. And then the heat kicked in. Without enough electrolyte drink, I got a cramp in my calf. A lovely person on the course gave me some salt and it cleared up.

The second half of the marathon course had almost no shade. The temperatures kept going up. The staff was giving out anything they could think of the help with the heat. The sponge soaked in cold water was amazing. 

And then I tripped. I tucked and rolled. I landed on my knee and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. 

I went to get up because looking up, I saw the sign for 20 miles. I could go another 6.2 miles. Except I couldn't stand up. The utter exhaustion and the heat made my body shut down. Medics checked me over and got me on my feet. I hobbled to the shuttle that would take me back to the finish line. My knee was killing me.

I rode back to the finish line and limped across the "finish" they set up for us to get our medals. Disney races assure you that you get a medal but there is always a special finisher item. This year was ears. I limped over to the medical tent where a very nice NP told me my knee was bruised. She gave me ice and wrapped it for me.

I limped my way back out and sighed.

At first, I wanted to give up and never run again. This was my first DNF. 

I started to tell people about the horrible race. Except that I didn't get the replies I expected. Most people were amazed I made it as far as I had. Most of them admitted that they could never have gone even a 5K distance, let alone 20 miles. 

It was, I realized, the thing I had been telling myself all along. I run because I love it. I enjoy the challenge of a distance. I'm not fast and probably never will be but it doesn't matter. 

My knee healed. I had the podiatrist check my feet again. And very slowly, I started to run again. At first, it was hard. My pace had dropped considerably. My legs felt like lead. I realized that I hadn't been taking care of my body very well.

I got out my nutrition books. I set a new goal. And I started over. I scheduled my Turkey Trot and my Hot Chocolate 15K. I got back into the gym. I have started running on a regular basis. 

Eventually, I will go back to that marathon distance. I don't think it's impossible. The timing wasn't right. So for now, I will keep going. I will build up muscle again and improve my nutrition. 

I may have failed at my first marathon attempt but I have definitely won overall.